Food Addiction or Spiritual Hunger?
Food Addiction or Spiritual Hunger?
What are you really hungry for?
As a specialist in health and eating psychology, I often hear people say they feel “addicted” to certain foods. To get control, restrictive diets are often turned to for help, but extreme diets are unsustainable and psychologically harmful. Like a dog chasing its tail, efforts are futile. Feelings of food addiction are not about the food as much as the role that food - and eating behavior - is serving. We may have learned to use food to escape our reality, and it works, albeit temporarily. But when the numbing effect wears off, food thoughts and eating urges are inevitably reignited unless we address the root of the issue. Instead of focusing only on what or how much we are eating, we need to address why food is being used to cope in the first place. Feelings of food addiction may be masking a deeper, spiritual hunger.
Spiritual hunger may be experienced as feeling devoid of meaningful purpose, pleasure, joy, authentic connection to others, and/or connection to Self.
When I shared this definition in a Relationship with Food workshop I facilitated, a woman bravely shared, “Um, I can relate to all of those things.” I noticed other participants agreeing through quiet, knowing laughter and nodding of heads, indicating she wasn’t alone. In my 20+ years of helping people heal their relationship with food and feelings of food addiction, spiritual hunger resonates the most.
Spiritual hunger can occur during life transitions and challenges that shake our sense of identity, purpose, and connection. New retirees, empty nesters, and recent college graduates are examples of that space between the known and the unknown. What was once anchoring and purposeful is now gone and has left a void. I also see spiritual hunger in those who are experiencing chronic loneliness. Food may have become a reliable companion - a temporary salve that masks social disconnection. An executive I worked with who traveled a lot for her job, which made it difficult to foster friendships, admitted, “I’d rather be with food at night than be alone.”
Spiritual hunger may also arise if feeling lonely but not alone, or working in a job that feels draining. Contentment and inspiration may have given way to feeling lost and out of touch with what feels fulfilling and joyful. Enter food. Food may be a learned way to quiet the discontent or the fear of change. Addressing spiritual hunger may or may not require a situational change, but it always requires a change within.
My first experience with spiritual hunger occurred in my mid-20s. I had a nightly ritual of overeating anything with chocolate to ignore a relationship that had run its course and to distract from my fear of pursuing a professional dream. I was at a personal and professional crossroads in life, and food was a way to avoid making difficult choices. At the time, I felt powerless over my nightly overeating urges and turned to diets to try and get control, but this only added fuel to the fire. Fortunately, I found a professional to help me get unstuck. His support and guidance helped me to cultivate body, mind, and emotion awareness. I learned to feel my appetite cues instead of overriding them and to identify and express my emotions instead of suppressing them. This physical, mental, and emotional practice of tuning in was a gateway to facing - not avoiding - my deeper needs. In time, I finally took steps into the scary unknown, left that relationship, and started pursuing my professional goals. My nightly eating urges decreased dramatically because I was finally addressing why I was using food to escape. This process was not easy or linear, but it was pivotal for healing not only my relationship with food but also my relationships with coping and overall self-care.
So, how can you determine if spiritual hunger influences your relationship with food? If food has become the much-anticipated highlight of your day or a means to silence the whispers of dissatisfaction, spiritual hunger may be present. Reflect on your typical day and the balance between life’s obligations and sources of joy. If enjoyable activities are limited or neglected, it's time to ask yourself what activities used to bring you joy? What ignites your curiosity? What are your sources of fun and play? What are you postponing for ‘someday’? Some may have the answers to these questions, while others may need to embark on a journey of self-exploration.
If spiritual hunger resonates with you, can you apply curiosity to your life circumstances and overall relationship with food? Can you turn toward rather than away from the emotions and thoughts that may feel uncomfortable? Can you reach out for support while navigating what is inevitably an inward exploration? And finally, can you treat yourself as an ally so that grace and self-compassion guide you toward what you are really hungry for? It is never too late to begin.
Until next time…